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Et Alors caught masquarading as French

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#1 themuntdregger


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Posted 17 August 2016 - 06:54 PM

As all OL'ers know, use of the beautiful and elegant french language is a priviledge reserved for those who are really french and who purchase it from the OL shop for $5. I was therefore concerned to observe the embarrassingly unconvincing spectacle of some complete nublet trying desperately to pass himself off as French when he's clearly from Blighty (or at least his mother is). As can be seen, the vile little reprobate was soon revealed as an imposter whereupon he ceased his warbling and ran off back to the undergrowth. Still, as can be seen, he gave good sport on light tackle....

N.B Edited to remove pointless repetition, deviation and embarrasing whining and sweetened with just the slightest hint of artistic license. Your home may be at risk if you don't keep up repayments and interest rates may go down as well as plumet. Unsuitable for those of a nervous disposition.

[etlorsrien @ 1]: on crain degun a marseille !
[etlorsrien @ 1]: oops WC
[themuntdregger @ 1]: Where did you learn to speak french? At an English school ?
[etlorsrien @ 1]: i'am french, not english
[themuntdregger @ 1]: and i'm the Pope !!!
[etlorsrien @ 1]: i'am french, realy
[etlorsrien @ 1]: I come form south of france, and my name is françois ....
[themuntdregger @ 1]: Nah, if you were French you'd conjugate an irregular verb like a proper frenchman
[etlorsrien @ 1]: je devrais parlais comment si je serais 'vraiment francais'?
[themuntdregger @ 1]: Try correcting all the obvious typos so I can understand what you're attempting to say
[piscator @ 1]: he speak local french
[themuntdregger @ 1]: Nah. I think his Mother was English
[etlorsrien @ 1]: my mom is french
[etlorsrien @ 1]: and my dad Indian
[themuntdregger @ 1]: Hmmm. So definitely not a cowboy ?
[themuntdregger @ 1]: ok, convince me you are French
[etlorsrien @ 1]: how?
[themuntdregger @ 1]: spell out the national anthem
[etlorsrien @ 1]: marseillaise?
[themuntdregger @ 1]: mais oui
[themuntdregger @ 1]: and in full plz
[etlorsrien @ 1]: I need write that on channel?
[themuntdregger @ 1]: ofc
[etlorsrien @ 1]: ok ,I send that to you, but on pm
[themuntdregger @ 1]: No! On chan plz
[etlorsrien @ 1]: nah nah impossible, don't want get bann by L
[themuntdregger @ 1]: a true frenchman would laugh in the face of le ban hammer
[themuntdregger @ 1]: However, if you can convince me, I might let you join our official French chan
[etlorsrien @ 1]: hmm
[themuntdregger @ 1]: I'm guessing youre googling the anthem like a nub
[etlorsrien @ 1]: ? I know that perfectly
[etlorsrien @ 1]: i'am a good guy
[etlorsrien @ 1]: I know my patry not like u
[themuntdregger @ 1]: spell it out then, like a true frenchman
[etlorsrien @ 1]: L'étendard sanglant est levé Entendez-vous dans les campagnes Mugir ces féroces soldats?

[themuntdregger @ 1] very good lol.
[themuntdregger @ 1]: and which verses don't you sing
[etlorsrien @ 1]: hmm ? 90% probaly
[themuntdregger @ 1]: WRONG!!!!
[themuntdregger @ 1]: you only sing the first and sometimes the 5th and 6th verse
[etlorsrien @ 1]: je pige pas
[etlorsrien @ 1]: parle francais tete de glan
[themuntdregger @ 1]: typical englishman
[etlorsrien @ 1]: wtf
[etlorsrien @ 1]: you give me a french phrase, I translate that, i you make error is not my problem

themuntdregger @ 1]: ok 'Que veut cette horde d'esclaves, De tratres, de rois conjurés'..... what does that mean ?
[etlorsrien @ 1]: what want esclage, of the conjured king
[themuntdregger @ 1]: Nope. It means 'What does this horde of slaves, Of traitors and conspiratorial kings want'
[etlorsrien @ 1]: I never do school :P
[themuntdregger @ 1]: Certainly not the french class lol

[etlorsrien @ 1]: I got my home, my job, soon my car, I lived solo without problem
[etlorsrien @ 1]: afk 2minute, I go take BEEEEEEEEEEEER
[themuntdregger @ 1]: Only english schoolboys drink warm beer lol
[etlorsrien @ 1]: pastis power!!!!
[themuntdregger @ 1]: You prolly think pastis is the same as pasty. It's not!
[etlorsrien @ 1]: I stoped pastis a little for few month I drink too much. now I drink absente, is like absinth for legal in french
[piscator @ 1]: it was forbidden here because of people becoming nuts after drinking it
[themuntdregger @ 1]: you prolly got it confused with cheap gin. That's usually what gay englishman drink
[themuntdregger @ 1]: Let's try again. Here's something that all french people know. What is Perigord famous for ?

[etlorsrien @ 1]: yes themuntdregger?
[themuntdregger @ 1]: I'll give you a clue, it's not snails and it's black !
[etlorsrien @ 1]: is that?
[themuntdregger @ 1]: what ?
[themuntdregger @ 1]: cmon. you've had time to google it
[etlorsrien @ 1]: mushroom
[themuntdregger @ 1]: lol Not exactly
[etlorsrien @ 1]: what is the speciality of marseille?
[themuntdregger @ 1]: Gay sailors ofc. Everyone knows that.
[etlorsrien @ 1]: lol ? that is not marseille
[etlorsrien @ 1]: the speciality of marseille, is the crime
[themuntdregger @ 1]: Nope, it's the vast abundance of gay sailors
[etlorsrien @ 1]: few month ago, I go in paris they all speak about me : ho you come form marseille! that is hot in marseille?
[themuntdregger @ 1]: Did you move to marseille from Portsmouth ? I hear there's lots of gay sailors there as well
[etlorsrien @ 1]: all parisien ppk who I see they say me : ho in marseille you got gun, beach, girl, and gun :P
[themuntdregger @ 1]: We Parisiens don't bother with Marseille. We prefer Nice
[etlorsrien @ 1]: nice is marseille ?
[themuntdregger @ 1]: Nope. A real frenchman would know le difference ofc
[etlorsrien @ 1]: much ppl say they are marseillais, but they are form nice, toulon, aix
[themuntdregger @ 1]: OMG Do you really believe that ??????
[etlorsrien @ 1]: you got skype?
[etlorsrien @ 1]: u will trust me fast
[themuntdregger @ 1]: We French don't skype. It's a cheap English thing for watching gay sailors
[etlorsrien @ 1]: all england are gay, and girl are not nice
[themuntdregger @ 1]: That's clearly your problem. In France we have plenty of nice girls
[themuntdregger @ 1]: Plus we get to troll you English on le intawebz
[themuntdregger @ 1]: Yup, if there was an olympic category for trolling les nublets, we'd surely get gold.

#2 Kiwi06


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Posted 18 August 2016 - 12:15 AM

We only have straight sailors in the US.

And this makes me want to have munt test me on how American I am. Doesn't know anything about anything? Yup, American lmao.

#3 CoduX


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Posted 19 August 2016 - 04:36 AM

I honestly feel my IQ dropping from reading that..

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